1.First, plant the seed. Don't approach your parent as though you've already made the decision for him or her. Just mention that there are options that could make life easier and more fun.
2. Next, offer a tour of some local assisted living centers, if he or she is willing, but don't push it. Drop the subject if necessary, and wait for another day.
3. Watch for a "teachable moment." Did Mom fall, but escape getting badly hurt? Use that as a springboard. You may want to wait a bit, or immediately say something like, "Wow, that was close. Once you're feeling better, maybe we could go look at the new assisted living center over by the church. We'd both feel better if you had people around." Go with your gut on the timing, but use the "moment."
4. Again, don't push unless you consider this an emergency. It's hard to wait, but you may need to. Wait for, say, a very lonely day when Mom is complaining about how she never sees her friends anymore. Then, gently, try again.
5. Check with your friends and friends of your parents. See if any live happily in an assisted living center nearby, or if their parents do. Just like your first day of school when you looked for a friend – any friend – who may be in your class, your parent would feel much better if there were a friend already in the center.
6. Even if they won't know anyone, you can still take your parent to watch a group having fun playing cards or wii bowling. Show off the social aspects of a good center. Keep it light and don't force the issue. Tour more than one center, if possible, and ask your parent for input. Big center or small? New and modern or older and cozy?
7. Show interest in how much privacy a resident has. Ask about bringing furniture from home and how much room there is. Take measuring tapes and visualize, if you can see some rooms, how your parent's room(s) would look. Show excitement, as you would do if you were helping your parent move to a new apartment, because that's what you are doing.
8. Stress the safety aspects.
9. Stress the fact that there's no yard cleanup, but flowers can be tended to. There's no need to call a plumber if the sink breaks, but there are plenty of things to do if people want. There's plenty of freedom to be alone, but company when they desire it.
Courtesy of Agingcare.com
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Should Your Parents Still Be Living on Their Own
As we age, giving up independence is one of the hardest things to do. Determining when it is the right time for a senior to move out of their home can be difficult. Here are tips that will help know how to make the decision when you parents should not be living alone any longer.
First, you must know this decision will be met with resistance, especially if your loved one is not injured and can still get around. You will need to be prepared to help them through this with sensitivity and understanding.
But there are some very basic activities they must still be able to accomplish if they are going to continue safely living on their own.
Questions to ask and observations to make:
1. Are they able to get out of the home to go to the store or doctor? To remain independent your senior must have the ability to get outside the home to accomplish tasks. Do they still drive or do they have a friend or relative that will drive them is the big question.
2. Do they have mobility issues that make it difficult to get around? If they can still get around well without the risk of falling, that is what you want to look for. If they show signs of instability, that can pose dangers living on their own.
3. Are they able to still cook and prepare meals for themselves? Observe how they operate around the kitchen. Can they still function safely with the stove and oven? Do they remember to turn these off when not in use? If they are not doing well in the kitchen, that can be a real problem.
4. How do they do with their medication? Put all their medication in a plastic container that has a separate compartment for each day. Keep an eye on this and watch to make sure they are taking all their medications at the proper times and the right days.
5. How is their hearing and vision? Are they able to use the telephone? A person can actually have challenges in these and still live on their own. There are special phones designed for those with poor vision or hearing.
When the time comes to move your loved senior family member from their home be sensitive to how difficult this will be for them. It is often best to explore options and talk over the best solution with them. Be sure to point out the safety reasons and that you are doing this out of love.
Written By : Mark Myers
First, you must know this decision will be met with resistance, especially if your loved one is not injured and can still get around. You will need to be prepared to help them through this with sensitivity and understanding.
But there are some very basic activities they must still be able to accomplish if they are going to continue safely living on their own.
Questions to ask and observations to make:
1. Are they able to get out of the home to go to the store or doctor? To remain independent your senior must have the ability to get outside the home to accomplish tasks. Do they still drive or do they have a friend or relative that will drive them is the big question.
2. Do they have mobility issues that make it difficult to get around? If they can still get around well without the risk of falling, that is what you want to look for. If they show signs of instability, that can pose dangers living on their own.
3. Are they able to still cook and prepare meals for themselves? Observe how they operate around the kitchen. Can they still function safely with the stove and oven? Do they remember to turn these off when not in use? If they are not doing well in the kitchen, that can be a real problem.
4. How do they do with their medication? Put all their medication in a plastic container that has a separate compartment for each day. Keep an eye on this and watch to make sure they are taking all their medications at the proper times and the right days.
5. How is their hearing and vision? Are they able to use the telephone? A person can actually have challenges in these and still live on their own. There are special phones designed for those with poor vision or hearing.
When the time comes to move your loved senior family member from their home be sensitive to how difficult this will be for them. It is often best to explore options and talk over the best solution with them. Be sure to point out the safety reasons and that you are doing this out of love.
Written By : Mark Myers
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Talking With Elderly Parents
Caring for your elderly parents can be a challenging task. As the body gets older, it falls victim to a number of health problems, which can be difficult for us to cope with. Seniors often become depressed and upset over small things because their bodies are unable to keep up with their minds. Other seniors will have mental health problems, which takes its toll on them and everyone around them. You will need to make some simple modifications to their home and shop for things that you may not have imagined like incontinence pads and enemas.
In order to properly care for your elderly parents, you need to learn how to communicate with them. Here are 5 simple ways you can open the lines of communication and build a strong and healthy relationship with your parents:
1. Show them respect. Just because you need to come over every morning and get them ready for the day does not mean they are a child. Your parents want you to still look upon them as the parents, not as an infant that needs care. Show them respect by treating them as your equal. You still need to sit down with them and ask them for advice and their opinions. Give them the opportunity to share their opinions instead of making it for them. They need to make their voice heard; even if you think what they have to say is a little odd.
2. Learn how to listen to your elderly parents. Parents like to be heard by their children, no matter what age they are. You need to respect them by listening to what they have to say. Truly listen to them instead of pretending to listen. When they are talking, give them your complete attention. Sit down with them and let them tell stories for hours and engage in fun conversations. Sometimes listening can be difficult and you may not hear exactly what they said, so you need to follow up with clarification questions. This is a great way to make their life a little easier and to make your care giving time more enjoyable.
3. Remain calm. Elderly parents may be slipping into the early stages of dementia and sometimes they say things that they don't mean. Many researchers have found that some elderly people tend to think they can say whatever is on their mind and people cannot combat it because they are "old". Be mindful of things that your elderly parents may say that are hurtful. Instead of lashing out at them when they say something hurtful, take a deep breath and walk away. If they continue to exhibit this behavior, kindly confront them about it and express your feelings. You may need to talk to their doctor about it because they may have dementia or it could indicate that they have suffered a small stroke.
4. Have rules and boundaries. As a caregiver you are giving up a large part of your life for your elderly parents. They will recognize this sacrifice and devotion to them so you don't need to constantly tell them. It is important for you to set some boundaries and rules with your elderly parents to keep your relationship strong and healthy. Let them know that some of their requests are unreasonable and learn how to tell them no. If your elderly parents cause too much stress on other loved ones, try to limit your visit at that person's home. Keeping it short and sweet may be easier for some of your siblings that do not understand dementia.
5. Love them. The best way to open up the lines of communication with your parents is to simply love them. Acknowledge when they do things that try to help you out. They may not be able to do things the way you want, but they are trying. Always tell them how much you appreciate them and love having them in their life so they know they are needed.
Written By : Dianna Malkowski
In order to properly care for your elderly parents, you need to learn how to communicate with them. Here are 5 simple ways you can open the lines of communication and build a strong and healthy relationship with your parents:
1. Show them respect. Just because you need to come over every morning and get them ready for the day does not mean they are a child. Your parents want you to still look upon them as the parents, not as an infant that needs care. Show them respect by treating them as your equal. You still need to sit down with them and ask them for advice and their opinions. Give them the opportunity to share their opinions instead of making it for them. They need to make their voice heard; even if you think what they have to say is a little odd.
2. Learn how to listen to your elderly parents. Parents like to be heard by their children, no matter what age they are. You need to respect them by listening to what they have to say. Truly listen to them instead of pretending to listen. When they are talking, give them your complete attention. Sit down with them and let them tell stories for hours and engage in fun conversations. Sometimes listening can be difficult and you may not hear exactly what they said, so you need to follow up with clarification questions. This is a great way to make their life a little easier and to make your care giving time more enjoyable.
3. Remain calm. Elderly parents may be slipping into the early stages of dementia and sometimes they say things that they don't mean. Many researchers have found that some elderly people tend to think they can say whatever is on their mind and people cannot combat it because they are "old". Be mindful of things that your elderly parents may say that are hurtful. Instead of lashing out at them when they say something hurtful, take a deep breath and walk away. If they continue to exhibit this behavior, kindly confront them about it and express your feelings. You may need to talk to their doctor about it because they may have dementia or it could indicate that they have suffered a small stroke.
4. Have rules and boundaries. As a caregiver you are giving up a large part of your life for your elderly parents. They will recognize this sacrifice and devotion to them so you don't need to constantly tell them. It is important for you to set some boundaries and rules with your elderly parents to keep your relationship strong and healthy. Let them know that some of their requests are unreasonable and learn how to tell them no. If your elderly parents cause too much stress on other loved ones, try to limit your visit at that person's home. Keeping it short and sweet may be easier for some of your siblings that do not understand dementia.
5. Love them. The best way to open up the lines of communication with your parents is to simply love them. Acknowledge when they do things that try to help you out. They may not be able to do things the way you want, but they are trying. Always tell them how much you appreciate them and love having them in their life so they know they are needed.
Written By : Dianna Malkowski
Thursday, July 28, 2011
What you need to know about MOM and DAD, NOW!
Q. Do you know which medications your parents take?
A. Nearly half of adult children cannot name even one medication that their parents take.
This fact is alarming considering a majority of those same children say they expect to become the caregivers and/or decision makers for those same aging parents. Taking medications is complex and involves timing, watching for interaction and effectiveness.
Prevent stress and uncertainty now by finding out what medications your senior loved ones are taking.
Here are some planning tips to help you be an advocate for your parents’ medication management:
• Sit down with your parents and have a conversation about what medications they take, including vitamins and supplements. Have all the medications in front of you while you are talking.
• Have multiple copies of this sheet available in several safe places and share it with doctors, dentists, specialists and other caregivers.
• Accompany them on doctor visits and make sure that current prescriptions are still necessary. Update their medication tracker sheets often.
Brought to you by your friends at The Harbor Court. Our nurses are here to help you understand the complexities and simplify the process of managing your parents’ medications.
--At The Harbor Court our medication management program includes a Pharmacy and Nursing Staff that double checks all residents’ medications for drug interactions, allergies and duplicated medications. We also manage all lab work associated with these prescriptions.
Our nurses are here to help you understand the complexities and simplify the process of managing your parents’ medication schedule.
To download a free copy of our Medication Information Worksheet, visit our websites at www.theharborcourt.com/seniorconnections
A. Nearly half of adult children cannot name even one medication that their parents take.
This fact is alarming considering a majority of those same children say they expect to become the caregivers and/or decision makers for those same aging parents. Taking medications is complex and involves timing, watching for interaction and effectiveness.
Prevent stress and uncertainty now by finding out what medications your senior loved ones are taking.
Here are some planning tips to help you be an advocate for your parents’ medication management:
• Sit down with your parents and have a conversation about what medications they take, including vitamins and supplements. Have all the medications in front of you while you are talking.
• Have multiple copies of this sheet available in several safe places and share it with doctors, dentists, specialists and other caregivers.
• Accompany them on doctor visits and make sure that current prescriptions are still necessary. Update their medication tracker sheets often.
Brought to you by your friends at The Harbor Court. Our nurses are here to help you understand the complexities and simplify the process of managing your parents’ medications.
--At The Harbor Court our medication management program includes a Pharmacy and Nursing Staff that double checks all residents’ medications for drug interactions, allergies and duplicated medications. We also manage all lab work associated with these prescriptions.
Our nurses are here to help you understand the complexities and simplify the process of managing your parents’ medication schedule.
To download a free copy of our Medication Information Worksheet, visit our websites at www.theharborcourt.com/seniorconnections
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Most Baby Boomers lack a plan to care for parents
A majority of Baby Boomers say they are likely to become caregivers for their parents, but only half can name any medications their parents take, a new survey shows.
The survey of 600 adults ages 45 to 65, conducted for the Home Instead Senior Care network, also found:
•31% don't know how many medications their parents take.
•34% don't know whether their parents have a safe deposit box or where the key is.
•36% don't know where their parents' financial information is located.
"The majority of caregivers we work with have done no advance planning,'' says Jeff Huber, president of Home Instead Senior Care, a company that provides non-medical care services. "It is not important until it's urgent. So much stress and uncertainty down the road can be prevented."
Lack of planning can lead to serious complications when decisions need to be made quickly, says palliative care nurse practitioner Mimi Mahon, an associate professor at George Mason University in Virginia. "It's vitally important to plan ahead and have these conversations with parents, or families can act out of fear and make mistakes when emergencies arise."
Prescription drugs are of particular concern. In the survey, 49% couldn't name a single drug their parents took. Ask parents about their medications and, if necessary, do research, experts say. Find out the dose, what it's for, who prescribed it and why. People 65 and older account for about a third of all medications prescribed in the U.S., according to the National Institutes of Health, and older patients are more likely to have long-term and multiple prescriptions, which could lead to unintentional misuse.
"It's kind of a never-ending process for caregivers," says Sandy Markwood, head of the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, part of the Department of Health and Human Services. "It gets further complicated when there is more than the family practitioner. A parent might have several specialists. It's a lot for a caretaker to keep up."
Markwood says the Administration on Aging, also under HHS, has been encouraging better record-keeping by seniors and stronger communication between seniors and caretakers since Hurricane Katrina. "Then you had a situation when seniors were evacuated without their medications and no one knew what medications they were on," Markwood says. "Doctors had to start from scratch."
One must-have answer for caretakers: What drugs can parents go without and which ones must be taken on schedule. For instance, blood pressure and anti-depressant medications cannot be missed, Mahon says.
The bottom line, she says, is being a staunch advocate for your parents' health care starts with "having conversations and putting plans in place."
USA TODAY
The survey of 600 adults ages 45 to 65, conducted for the Home Instead Senior Care network, also found:
•31% don't know how many medications their parents take.
•34% don't know whether their parents have a safe deposit box or where the key is.
•36% don't know where their parents' financial information is located.
"The majority of caregivers we work with have done no advance planning,'' says Jeff Huber, president of Home Instead Senior Care, a company that provides non-medical care services. "It is not important until it's urgent. So much stress and uncertainty down the road can be prevented."
Lack of planning can lead to serious complications when decisions need to be made quickly, says palliative care nurse practitioner Mimi Mahon, an associate professor at George Mason University in Virginia. "It's vitally important to plan ahead and have these conversations with parents, or families can act out of fear and make mistakes when emergencies arise."
Prescription drugs are of particular concern. In the survey, 49% couldn't name a single drug their parents took. Ask parents about their medications and, if necessary, do research, experts say. Find out the dose, what it's for, who prescribed it and why. People 65 and older account for about a third of all medications prescribed in the U.S., according to the National Institutes of Health, and older patients are more likely to have long-term and multiple prescriptions, which could lead to unintentional misuse.
"It's kind of a never-ending process for caregivers," says Sandy Markwood, head of the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, part of the Department of Health and Human Services. "It gets further complicated when there is more than the family practitioner. A parent might have several specialists. It's a lot for a caretaker to keep up."
Markwood says the Administration on Aging, also under HHS, has been encouraging better record-keeping by seniors and stronger communication between seniors and caretakers since Hurricane Katrina. "Then you had a situation when seniors were evacuated without their medications and no one knew what medications they were on," Markwood says. "Doctors had to start from scratch."
One must-have answer for caretakers: What drugs can parents go without and which ones must be taken on schedule. For instance, blood pressure and anti-depressant medications cannot be missed, Mahon says.
The bottom line, she says, is being a staunch advocate for your parents' health care starts with "having conversations and putting plans in place."
USA TODAY
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